e pag sinisipag ka nga naman o

what i hate about facebook is all the flaunting that people do which makes you feel insufficient.

just like JC, who aside from flaunting his fabulous lifestyle, is now flaunting his super hot boyfriend. to say that i’m jealous is an understatement. i’m drooling for the guy. the mere sight of his boyfriend turns me on that i just want to jack off. the kind of feeling i had when i heard that prince stefan and toffee calma participated in the same orgy. to be fair, JC is also cute. i’m not just into him because he was my service-mate and when he was in kinder, he proudly declared that he eats his booger.

but this time it end here. the past months, i’ve learned to control jealousy –  this feeling of insufficiency. i just realized that i have nothing to complain about – i have a stable job and so far despite the feeling of uncertainty of whether to stay for good, i can say that i’m happy. i have a great family, friends. i’m healthy and so is my family. i eat, i have shelter, and i can indulge on fine stuffs every once in a while. just yesterday,  i was in dusit.

sure there are things, actually a lot of things that i can’t afford yet. just now, my mp3 player broke and i’m thinking of replacing it with iTouch but i don’t have an idea on where to get the funds. hehe. and yes, i don’t have a cute boyfriend

but thinking about it, despite of the imperfections in my life, i have so many things to be thankful for. i may not have everything that i want, but i certainly have everything i need. i mean, how many people in Africa or Libya can say that?

i have nothing to complain about.

 

if only they knew

o hey blog! 3 months e? hehe

just want to share this with you. on our way home, my officemate Joyce, asked – ‘Bakit kaya wala pa tayong boyfriend’.

to which i replied, for myself, that i think it’s because i don’t exude an aura that i’m looking for a relationship. one friend in fact, told me when he saw me waiting for a ride, that i look very ‘suplado’. another said that i appear very cold that as if i have no emotion. and there’s even one who told me to shave the slight beard that i keep because the prospects would simply assume that i’m straight .

well here’s her take – she said that i look so decent, and she thinks other straight acting gays would think that i’m up to no fun.

i disagree.

if she only knew of my sexcapades. of me having experienced an orgy, a threesome. of me having been in a massage parlor, gay bar and a bath house. of me doing it with strangers. of me having done it in a vacant parking lot, in a dark part of a newly constructed mall, of having made out under a foot bridge, of having done it with a security guard, an engaged man and a drugged person.

and yet, her impression was that i’m not capable of these things. well i guess i’m very good at hiding my sins. i feel belonging to the league of certain bishops. hypocrisy – it makes me sick.